...m any of the rest of us...what is it like when you change? Are you able to control your actions, or is it like you're just observing?"
Ichigo got up from the bench and walked a few feet away. He took a deep breath before answering her, "I wish I could tell you that I have no control over myself when I'm like that, but I do. With the exception of," he swallowed hard, "the night I hurt you, I remember everything I've ever done in that form." He turned to face her and ran his fingers through his hair, "When I'm like that, it's like I'm me but...I'm me without a conscience. All of the terrible thoughts that I have – and believe me, I have lots of them – are given free reign. But I choose to let those things happen. The other day, with Yoruichi, I wanted to do so much worse to her. Even in that form, there are lines I won't cross and hurting someone weaker than me isn't something I'll do." His tortured amber gaze met her wide blue eyes, "That's why I hate myself so much for what I did to you. No matter what state of mind I was in, I should have never done that. I have never wanted to hurt you...no matter what. I hope you believe that." Ichigo looked away from her, not wanting to see her distrust.
Rukia rose from her seat and walked slowly to stand in front of him. She raised his chin until she was looki...