...ry, Naruto," Sai insisted, "But I think it's a no-go on the hooker."
"Fuck you guys! I'll get him a hooker myself, then!" He took his hand off the receiver. "Hinata, remind me to get Chouji a hooker. I wonder if Ino will do it if I pay her enough. Chouji's fat. He always says he's not, but he sooooooo is. He shouldn't be all denial-y. He should just accept it, you know? I mean, if I was fat I would just be like, 'I'm fat, bitches. So, suck it!' He'd be happier with himself like that. And… yeah. That's why Chouji's fat. I'm glad we settled that." There was a pause. "What was I saying?"
"You were listing off people who wanted to have intercourse with Hinata," Sai reminded him helpfully.
"Oh yeah! 'Kay, there were these two fags with me here. They're a total no. Then Shikamaru and Chouji. We were just talking about them. I know! Maybe Shikamaru would bang Chouji! He's kinda a whore already."
"You're going to forget what you're saying again, Naruto," Sai warned.
"'Kay thanks, Sai. Then there's your team. We already established that Kiba wants your ass. Shino probably does, too. I bet under all his cool, aloofityness, he's horny. I'll bet you he's horny as hell. Who else? There's Lee's team, but that's just Lee and that girl with the bunny ear things on her head. Oh, no wait, Neji's on that team, too. He probably wants you, too. Yeah, he probably- Oh no, wait, he's your cou...