...are water and wind so I hope you inherit that. If not, talk to your godfather, Jiraiya, about applying a chakra converter seal to the handles.
I can feel you kicking now, it's like you know i'm writing this to you. I hope you never get this and i'll be able to give these in person but, well, lifes a bitch.
Love, Kushina Uzumaki.
P.s. Son it's a family secret but about... oh, five hundred years ago when our family first started one of our ancestors tamed and married a succubus. So we all have just a hint of sex demon blood in us, making us all rather... gifted, when it comes to matters in the bedroom. I'm writing this part as the Kyuubi is approaching and I know that look in Minato-kun's eyes. He's gonna do something stupid. So on the off chance that he seals the fox within you while sacrificing himself I just want to warn you that you probably shouldn't use any demonic chakra, specifically for any sex related techniques. You may or may not turn into an Incubus. Just a friendly piece of advice. Have a long happy life. If I see you in the afterlife in any less then fifty years i'm going to beat the shit out of you. Unless, of coarse, you die saving a village full of orphans or something redeeming like that. Bye son!
Sweat-dropping he couldn't ...